Loving Yourself
Journal Entry: Sun Dec 30, 2007, 2:47 AM
Loving Yourself
There is a common saying and it goes like this "You have to love yourself before any one else can love you" What does this mean and how do we bring love to ourselves? These are the two questions that come to mind when I hear this saying. Loving our self is not something we are taught for the most part. The world we live in is constantly pulling us in all directions so the first step towards loving our self is to pull back some or all of our attention to ourselves. Notice during your day how every thought that we go out on pulls us away from our self and the moment we are in. When our attention is resting within our self a natural peace opens up. When I say put your attention on your self I don't mean think about your self just move your attention to the most quiet and still part of your self. At first it may not feel like there is no quiet part of our self. This quiet space within will grow more and more as you focus on it. When we enter this quiet space within we become the watcher, just rest and watch. It is natural to have tons of thoughts moving through your mind so if this is your experience that's ok just keep watching and going back to the most still place within your self. When we look at our thoughts as a watcher and we don't move our attention with them we begin to notice that we are not our thoughts and that they just seem to arise on their own accord. This is the most important step towards loving your self.
There are many concepts that we engage in to feel that we are worthy of love however, the truth is that no matter the conditions in our lives we are always worthy of the highest love at all times. We are trained as small children that we must become successful in our lives so a great deal of our focus goes to that. We are pressured to know what occupation we want to pursue at a very young age. Next we feel that we must acquire all kinds of things in life to feel like we are doing well for ourselves like buying a car, a house then filling the house full of stuff. Once we have all these things we will be successful and more worthy of love, this is not true. I'm not saying its wrong to have all that life has to offer the point I'm making here is that we don't need any thing to feel self worth and love. Self worth comes from within. Just rest and be still within yourself. Loving your self does not mean that we all need to go out and buy a big screen TV, rather it means excepting our lives just the way things are.
Between the banks of pain and pleasure the river of life flows the idea is not to get stuck at the banks. Let come what comes and go what goes.
(from the book I am That)
Next is that we tend to think that love only comes from family, friends and relationships, this is not entirely true either. What we get from them is a reflection of how much we love our self. If we love our self a bit the world around us reflects back a little bit of love and it works the same way if we love our self to the fullest. We sometimes put a great deal of pressure on our relationships feeling that we need love from external sources. Try loving yourself for a week and watch how the people around you respond to that. What tends to happen is that we begin to draw more happy and loving people into our lives. The letter carrier who has never spoke to you before says hi or a friend that you have not seen in a while just drops by out of the blue to shower you with their love, but don't take my word for it try it and see what happens.
Loving our self can be simple and easy we must stop our violent thinking. Whenever a thought comes up like I need to try harder or that I'm not good enough just rest, let go of any thought that makes you feel less that you really are. We need never compare ourselves to any thing or any one else. We are all on our own journey in life. To compare ourselves to any other person or to what others have that we do not is just a trap, the underlying feeling here is that we would be better if we was or had what others have. There is no self-love or peace within that. Just focus on your life and loving yourself to the fullest.
The last step is to give yourself rest, we are a world full of doers, we are always doing things constantly on the move. Give yourself time to relax. Take vacations and take time away from your work environments, as it is violent not to give ourselves rest. When we work too much we are saying to our self that we are not worthy of a break and this is not very loving towards our self either.
When we love our self fully we begin to have to copasity to love and be loved by the world more. We see our surroundings more clearly and we make better choices for ourselves. Its like seeing our reflection in a pond, the more still and loving towards our self we are the more clear the reflection of our self and the world around us is and the more self defeating thoughts about our self that we entertain the more rippled the reflection gets, we loose all clarity of our self and the world.
Be still and love yourself every day, every moment and watch your life grow.
- Mood:
Love